November 01

What is Religion?

How many times have you been asked what is your Religion?
And people react so quickly with an answer. People say "Christian, Hindu, Muslim, Christainity, Hinduism, Islam, Dont Have one..." It never fails to amaze me how people respond to this question without even a second thought... Yet few people who answer really understand the meaning of religion.
What exactly is the meaning of Religon? And what is your religion? These are questions that I want people to question themselves...And give me an answer???

Taken from Dictionary.com: we see that it has the following meanings:

"re‧li‧gion–noun 1. a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe, esp. when considered as the creation of a superhuman agency or agencies, usually involving devotional and ritual observances, and often containing a moral code governing the conduct of human affairs.
2. a specific fundamental set of beliefs and practices generally agreed upon by a number of persons or sects: the Christian religion; the Buddhist religion.
3. the body of persons adhering to a particular set of beliefs and practices: a world council of religions.
4. the life or state of a monk, nun, etc.: to enter religion.
5. the practice of religious beliefs; ritual observance of faith.
6. something one believes in and follows devotedly; a point or matter of ethics or conscience: to make a religion of fighting prejudice.
7. religions, Archaic. religious rites.
8. Archaic. strict faithfulness; devotion: a religion to one's vow. "

... Here is another definition taken from my electronic Franklin Dictionary:

"re-li-gion (noun):
1. the service and worship of God or the supernatural
2. devotion to a religious faith
3. a personal set of institutionalized system of religious beliefs, attitudes, and practices
4. a cause, a principle, or belief held to with faith and ardor"

And taken from wikipedia.com: here is another set of definitions of Religion:

"Definition of religion

There are many definitions of religion, and most have struggled to avoid an overly sharp definition on the one hand, and meaningless generalities on the other. Some have tried to use formalistic, doctrinal definitions and others have tried to use experiential, emotive, intuitive, valuational and ethical factors.
Sociologists and anthropologists see religion as an abstract set of ideas, values, or experiences developed as part of a cultural matrix. Primitive religion was indistinguishable from the sociocultural acts where custom and ritual defined an emotional reality.
Other religious scholars have put forward a definition of religion that avoids the reductionism of the various sociological and psychological disciplines that relegate religion to its component factors.
Religion may be defined as the presence of a belief in the sacred or the holy. For example Rudolf Otto's "The Idea of the Holy," formulated in 1917, defines the essence of religious awareness as awe, a unique blend of fear and fascination before the divine. Friedrich Schleiermacher in the late 18th century defined religion as a "feeling of absolute dependence."
The Encyclopedia of Religion describes religion in the following way:
"In summary, it may be said that almost every known culture involves the religious in the above sense of a depth dimension in cultural experiences at all levels — a push, whether ill-defined or conscious, toward some sort of ultimacy and transcendence that will provide norms and power for the rest of life. When more or less distinct patterns of behaviour are built around this depth dimension in a culture, this structure constitutes religion in its historically recognizable form.

Religion is the organization of life around the depth dimensions of experience — varied in form, completeness, and clarity in accordance with the environing culture." (Winston King, Encyclopedia of Religion, p 7693) "

So now that we are clear on what is religion... Can one truely say that he doesnt have a religion? To say that one doesnot believe in supernatural beings or a God.. Is it not like establishing your own set principles which is a religion itself?

So I ask you just one favour today... That is to tell me what is your religion?? Or atleast what you believe it is...

Reflections on My Life, Dreams, & present state of mind...

Its like this... Everyone thinks that because your in Canada, that wow its so kool, and so many people I know would kill to be in my shoes, but I dont find being in my shoes all that comfortable, but people think it is... And its not like am ungrateful or anything, I just dont see or dont understand whats so special or different or whatever that people see in my shoes that makes it so great...

I mean in Guyana even though I was home most of the time... I was very independent... And then I was working... And it was never too cold outside to go out... Or if it was raining I could sit on my varanda and look out and still be entertained... If I wanted something I didnt have to depend on no one to come take me there to get it... I could have just gotten ready anytime, and go... Cause it was one simple straight road, where it could only rain or the sun could be too hot... And I could have go to my friend house or the could have come to mine... Yes I didnt get to go out so much as I wanted to because my dad was always so Protective, but it was much more than I go out here...Even if I didnt go out back home, I would call up a friend or go to the varanda... I miss that...

Here I cant go out when its too cold, if I do go sit on the porche there is nothing to see, no side neighbour washin clothes to bother, no friend to call up whose not working...

I dont know... Did I know this is what my life would have been like when I was coming...I guess I just didnt really thinked about it... All I thought about was that I was going to meet the love of my life... and my mom was going to see a Doctor... And she would be alright... I would have gotten some freedom from my dad... I just didnt think about the rest...And I feel so naive, so stupid, Like what the hell was wrong with me... Why is my life always about my family... Why am I always the one stuck at home doing the cooking and cleaning... There was a time when I once had dreams... Dreams of being someone... Not a doctor for sure... But someone important... Someone who made differences in peoples life, someone who helped made the world a better place... There was a time when all I thought about was what I wanted to be... Someone who worked hard, someone rich, someone who didnt have to be at home and cook, or look after babies, Someone who could go anywhere who didnt have a tie to hold them down to one place...

Those where once feelings and dreams and ambitions that I onced had... And today am doing the exact opposite to that lol, and whats more strange is that I am not exactly what I would call disappointed... I cant imagine how I once used to think that I can live without having someone to love or be loved by... Or how I use to think that I dont want to look after babies cause the are so gross sometimes...Okay but I still do think the are hard to make... And I dont enjoy cooking or house cleaning any better today than I did 5 years back... But I can live with it... And I have realised that I am important if not to the world... I am to my family, to my husband, to my friends...and to me.. And though the may not always appreciate or acknowledge the fact.. I do make there world a better place and I do help them alot... But you know I cant go on living my life like this....

I do love my husband alot... But I hate depending on him for everything... There are alot of my dreams and ambitions in life that wont be happening soon, or ever will... And many that I will have and probably will change too... But there are some that I just refuse to let happen or change... I dont like nor will I ever ever accept being dependant on noone for anything... I guess my first step from being dependant on him is learning to drive... Which is very difficult for me... Cause I dont much about driving or cars... I once told someone that the only thing I knew how to operate in a vechicle is the window button and the seat belt... And the proved me wrong... I couldnt get the seat belt buckled...

I think I should go to a driving school before I take my written test..because it all dont make sense to me...How must I know if I should breake or not if this or that should happen or if the brakes dont work what I should do... when I dont even know what is the brakes, and its not funny... nor my fault... We didnt have a car... And I never knew no one who had a car... And everyone I know now expect me to know these things... But how can I ... Am I the only one who doesnt know anything about drinving or cars?????

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October 31

I have nothing better to do all day lol so I created a Technorati Profile.

I also created a blog at http://princessjibi.blogspot.com/...

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Halloween Joke

===============

A man was walking home alone late one foggy night, when behind

him he hears:

BUMP...

Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog h e makes out

the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle

of the street toward him.

BUMP...

Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket

bouncing quickly behind him

FASTER...

BUMP...

He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door,

rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him.

However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of

the casket clapping

clappity-BUMP...

on his heels, the terrified man runs.

Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His

heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.

With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.

Bumping and clapping toward him.

The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he

can find is a bottle of cough syrup!

Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket...

and,

(hopefully you're ready for this!!!)

The coffin stops

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October 29

Water: The Best Medication Ever Created!
By Charles O. Palmerson

How much water do you drink every day? The majority of people do not drink enough!

In 1995 Dr. F. Batmanghelidj. MD published his research on dehydration in a best selling book entitled “Your Bodies Many Cries For Water” which shocked the medical community and pharmaceutical industry. In this book the author shows medical evidence which supports his thesis that the majority of medical conditions stem from dehydration.

The research by scientists clearly shows that dehydration is one of the most common health maladies and the most easily preventable. The findings clearly demonstrate that quite often heartburn, rheumatoid pain, back pain, headaches and pains in the legs are all the result of dehydration.

This is referred to as dyspeptic pain and is being thoroughly researched by scientists. This makes perfect sense if we study the physiology of the human body. Starting at the back of the lips and going all the way to the rectum is a mucosal lining. This lining covers the entire length of the digestive system and usually injuries to this lining precede serious disease conditions. The purpose of the lining is to filter out toxins and help transport food down the digestive tract. As this lining loses its elasticity and moisture the result is pain, aging and eventually disease.

In recent years the medical community has slowly been coming around to recognizing the truth in this brilliant research. However, the mainstream medical still ignores this research and its findings. The question you have to ask is can chemicals and high priced procedures heal the body when the problem could be chronic dehydration?

More research is being done. But the initial finds are conclusive. Sick people do not drink enough water every day. This is something worth thinking about and applying to your own health regimen.

Dr. Batmanghelidj theorizes that chronic cellular dehydration painfully and prematurely kills and that up until now the outward manifestations have been labeled as diseases of unknown origin. The great news is that there is a simple solution! Dr. Batmaghelidj suggests that you drink half of your body weight in ounces of water every day. This regimen will help keep the cells, joints and skin hydrated.

We've all heard the old saying “an apple a day keeps the doctor away.” Today we should consider adding to that statement “Without H2O you have been told, you will get sick, you will grow old.”

Drink Up!

The above information should encourage anyone to drink alot of water. I normally drink alot of water.... It makes me angry when I hear people talk about the dont like drinking water..Its like saying I want to die or I dont like taking care of myself...

Once again Education has proved crucial in helping us better understand how to keep our self healthy...I dont think a man has no one to blame but himself for his illness, when it could have been easily avoided...(Though am not saying this applies to every man) Everyone should make it there duty to know whats right and whats not right to eat and do to keep themself healthy...

SO make that first step or click in this case... heres a link for you to get started on trying to live a healthier and longer life...

http://www.pioneerthinking.com/mbs.html

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October 27

Okay my uncle bought this chinese rice from his girl friend... its white and kinda oval shape but really small... nothing like the normal brown rice we cook that you know when its done by the split in the middle... So I put it on to boil and let it boil for the normal time but boy did this rice turn out funny...

And then I am thinking to myself how worst can you get when you cant even boil rice... But its not my fault right?? I never cook chinese rice... Its different from brown rice.. It didnt spilt.. and it got soft luckyly everyone was hungry so the ate most of it... But I still have a whole bag of it and I have to cook it sooner or later.

So I ran a search engine searching for "How to Cook Rice"...

and quite a few interesting links came up... and what makes them more interesting is that I never cook my rice like this... I dont know anyone who does either... okay here is the first link...

I have learned alot from this link how to cook rice perfectly. Though am not sure if I ever will cook rice like this... I do have the time but not the patience to sit in the kitchen all the time...

Or this link Cook Rice which is also lenghty in time... I guess this is the method I was suppose to use for my chinese rice... Heres a little history on it... Rice. I never knew about chinese rice.. Until recently or this long kinda white rice... dont know its name...

Basically when I cook brown rice

I just put the water on to boil

when its hot I wash the rice and put it on to boil...

if it stinks I normally throw a little salt to take away the scent am not sure if this works or not since my nose is stuffy most of the time...

then I check it every 10 minutes to see if it spilt then I know its done and I strain it...

of course I normally lower the heat when the the water begins to bubble up...

Check this link out How to cook rice japanese style. I dont have a rice cooker... I never used one either... I have a friend who has one and I like it cause it keeps the rice warm and nice all day. Instead of having to put it in the fridge and then hot it up I hate how it tastes that way... As soon as I start working and is living with my husband am going to get me one...

Yeaaaaah Meeeeee!!!!!!!!

October 26

Welll, one things for sure I really need to find another word other than 'Well' to start my blogs well, I have heard a few from talking to friends "actually, um, so" etc,... I am still looking for one other than 'Well'. And its not that I dont have a wide vocabulary, its just that I dont remember the words when I need them. Okay to the point of todays blog... Well (

) I am still reading up on religions. And I will soon post some stuff up on what I have understand, but its still all confusing to me, and I have been fasting so most of what I have read is a set of facts and data flowing around in my head, which I dont think will be processed for now, since all my attention and brain power is going towards food, its like the only thing I can think of all Day when am fasting. And its not that am hungry, I can be around food or someone eating food, its just that I get thirsty. But I keep thinking of food and my brain refuse to work, its like all my brain cells go on a strike when the dont have sugar, and just my mobile cells work, well for part of the day...

So I decided you know what, since food is all my brain is thinking of why not but it to work on that. So I went accross to the library and borrowed some simple down to earth books on health and cooking, you know I dont want to just learn to cook junk... Though this is a shock to most people deep down somewhere inside of me there is a part that likes to cook. Really, Seriously, it just havent had someone to inspire it to grow...

I know to cook, and I have people in Guyana who would put there life on the block and say that the have ate my food and it was good. And I can swear I didnt threaten them or anything... I just dont know what has happened to me since I came over here... Its like am looking for something to blame, or someone, yet I cant find anything...

Which is so not fair, everyone deserves someone or something to blame there faults on... Anyways my husband has made it blame out clear that he wish I could cook better, actually he wish I could just cook sometimes... and then mabye try and be better... I do want to cook better, I just lack the motivation... I am only human, and I have been having low self esteem in myself lately... I wanted to learn to cook for my husband... Yet sometimes I feel like its not worth it, I have had my share of trying to do things just for others and it doesnt work that way... I mean sometims it does... But I dont want to find out... I decided that I like to eat... I can read, I am not color blind, I do have both my hands ... and so I have all the resources and utilities I need to start learning and cooking.... I should do this for me... In the end I know I wouldnt disappointment myself... And I hate feeling disappointed... And disappointing someone else is just a worster feeling...

So I am kinda reading up on cooking right now... Right now I am reading "Hoffer's Law of Natural Nutrition: A guide to eating well for pure health" by "Abram Hoffer". I am only at the 3rd page...lol

But basically what is book is saying is that because of advertisements and all this junk food out there that taste so deliciously good we have lost our natural instincts in deciding whats good for our body or how much we should eat. So hes saying in order to eat well we must be educated...in minerals and vitamens and all that...

And its kinda difficult to know what we need from what we read, cause everyone is different. So am just thinking here WOW imagine living in a house where I have 3 children plus my husband and his family and I am the cook and each one of them is on a different diet. *)(?><>&^&*%$!@#@! which is the emoticon of me passing out. Right now my body is low on Iron, which until a few days back I found really puzzling cause you know I do eat food with lots of iron, but reading from health websites online, I have found out what I have not been eating is Vitamin C which is also known as Absorbic acid, and this helps us to absorb the Iron in our food... Oh Well its time to go back to my reading... So Many Questions...So Little Answers...

I created an account on my space today cause my cuz is there and I wanted to be updated for when she post stuffs... thats my link http://www.myspace.com/princessjibi

You wont find much on it but if your bored you can check it out and my Cuz....

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October 24

A note to all my friends...

I am sorry I havent being replying emails, or some comments, My IE is giving me lots of probs. I havent gotten to check my mails... Sorry No Eid Cards to my Friends & Family...

Also Happy birthday to Flash...wish you all the best dear, even though we may not talk no more...You were once a very good friend to me And I can never forget that...Hope you know it...

...Take care everyone...Miss u guys...

October 18

Horny Lyrics
Artist(Band):Mousse T

All night long I'm horny
All night long I'm horny
All night long I'm horny
All night long I'm horny
All night long I'm horny
All night long I'm horny

You got me horny in the morning and you know
I tried to call you but I can't find the telephone
I sent a message through the internet but it rejected
I wrote you a letter and I send it through the post

The post it takes so long
So I got to sing this song
To let you know how I feel, what's the deal baby
And I can't wait for you
And the things you make me do
My heart is ringing so I'm singing this song for you

Chorus:
I'm horny, horny, horny, horny
So horny, I'm horny, horny, horny
I'm horny, horny, horny, horny
So horny, I'm horny, horny, horny tonight

I search from town to town but I can't find my boo
I got so desperate that I sent a rocket to the moon
In New York City, someone said they saw you singing the blues
But it was a man from Nowhere Land that looked like you
I will keep searching on
This feeling's much too strong
My heart is ringing and I'm singing this song for you

Chorus:
I'm horny, horny, horny, horny
So horny, I'm horny, horny, horny
I'm horny, horny, horny, horny
So horny, I'm horny, horny, horny tonight
I'm horny, horny, horny, tonight
I'm horny, horny, horny, tonight

All night long I'm horny
All night long I'm horny
All night long I'm horny
All night long I'm horny

The post it takes so long
So I've got to sing this song
To let you know how I feel, what's the deal baby
And I can't wait for you
And the things you make me do
My heart is ringing so I'm singing this song for you

Chorus:
I'm horny, horny, horny, horny
So horny, I'm horny, horny, horny
I'm horny, horny, horny, horny
So horny, I'm horny, horny, horny tonight

All night long I'm horny
All night long I'm horny
All night long I'm horny
All night long I'm horny

This song has good beats, it makes me laugh, its just amazing the things people sing now days, I guess thats why I stick mostly to music of the 80thies, you can download and listen to it if ya want to ...

DAVENAND HOW DARE YOU COMMENT ON MY SPACE AND NOT TELL ME YOU LUV ME NOTHING, I DEMAND AN APOLOGY PLUS 10 I LUV U'S TO MAKE UP, UR SO LUCKY UR SLEEPING RITE NOW . I LUV U SWEETHEART

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Whats up with me???

Well alot, and not much at the same time. Its the Holy month of Ramadan, where the Quran was revealed to our Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings apon him). And so most people are either fasting, and trying to do good things that the havent done all year long. LOL Well I know I am one of them.

Recently I have decided to go on a quest for knowledge.

I know this sounds adventureous, but really am going to be doing this right from my pc. And mabye a few trips to the library. There so many religions in this world. And so many people believe in there religion. And the would kill for it, and we have all kinds of dispute in this world because of religion. There are people who wont be your friend because they dont like muslims, there are muslims who dont be other people friends cause the feel the know all. And the whole thing is real stupid. I wonder sometimes if we all just took one minute and have a moment of silent. And think about what we are fighting for, or hating for, if its not all stupid. Cause how many people actually know what the are talking about, or fighting about, or why the are doing things. And if its the truth???? Not many.

Personally I wouldnt go fight in the name of religion. Cause I dont understand my religion fully. What I know is what people have told me. Its what my parents told me. Yes I have doubts. People say I will be sinned for having doubts. But I dont care. I am 20 years old almost. And somehow today I feel like if I have wasted most of my life.

What is the purpose of life???

Everyone has there own beliefs and ideas.

I have always believed that my purpose of life is to live a good life, be obedient to Allah (God), do good things, abstain from wrong things, be a good daugher, wife and mother. Yet I havent been doing this. I mean I do abstain from wrong things, I am a good daughter, wife, but I dont do good things, I havent helped much people in my life, other than friends. I havent been exactly obedient to God, I have missed so much prayers that I should have prayed. Yet it doesnt bother me as much as it should have. Why because I believe I have doubts. I dont know what I mean by doubts really. I do believe that there is only one God, and that Muhammad (peace and blessings upon him) is the last and final messenger that God sent. And I do believe that the Quran is the words from God.

But do any religion teaches us to do bad things? Each give us a different idea of what the purpose of life is.

Someone once said that "The purpose of life is to live a life of purpose." And I do believe that those are very wise words. Lets look at the life of a butterfly. Some live for just 3 - 4 days while some live for 20 - 40 days. Yet in that short life span most would have served a purpse. It would have helped with pollination, and would have laid some eggs somewhere to help with its population, and mabye it would have caught the eyes of some human being and given someone pleasure in looking at something beautiful. Yet somehow I feel a butterfly does more in its short lifetime than most humans do in 1 year.

I guess I my head is filled with too much questions right now. Like:

Why is it that some people dont believe in God.

Why is it that some people believe in one way of life half of there lives then suddenly the get doubts and belief in another.

Why do some people just allow there self to be sold into religions.

Why do some people not care.

Why do some people care so much and commit there entire lifes into what the believe.

I think its circumstances and the environment in which people are brought up. Though I know it does not apply to everyone. Yet I cant help but wonder if man will be punished when he faces God, for not believing, or believing wrongly when it was circumstances he had no control over that made his beliefs??? Is that fair???

Like for example I am a muslim. Its not easy being one. My religion is in arabic, and there is no pure translation of arabic into another language. I dont know Arabic. I have learned to pronounce it. But I havent learn to translate it. So even though I pray I dont understand what I am praying most of the time. I am not going to lie. I have asked this question to people. The say its my duty to learn its meaning, its my duty to memorize its meaning. I havent done my duty. I am not proud of myself.

And I know I am not the only one out there. But I'll use my famous words on me now "Not because everyone does it means its okay and God is going to lessing our punishment."

I guess what all this blabbering about today is that I am not sure if I have learned my religion the right way. And I dont think I have enough knowledge to understand it. And I really do want to better understand it and learn more. But the problem is how do I know what is authentic and whats not. Will I punished for doing things the wrong way if I know of no other way???? And I also want to better understand other religions also. I like to know what makes people TICKK.

But first I want to know what makes me TICK... And that is what my blog is going to be having on it for now. Cause I really like to be sure that this is it. That its the right thing...And I want other people to be sure of themselves also...

October 13

What Would It Take To Make You Leave?
======================================

What would it take to make you leave?

With MountainWings I experience various levels of commitment.
I realize that few will like or agree with every issue that I
publish. Something is bound to strike you the wrong way or
simply be misunderstood.

Often when people don’t like an issue for whatever reason, they
will write and say they are unsubscribing. I remember one case
in particular after the issue, “Cat Got Your Chum?” where I
explained that I had to give away my cats because my wife was
terrified of cats. A lady emailed that she was unsubscribing
because she couldn’t respect any man who would put his wife over
his cats. Perhaps she had one too many ‘good cat/bad man’
experiences.

Many instances are similar. I began to see the parallel with
other relationships in life: Job – marriage – siblings – friends
– parent and child - churches - schools - even countries.

Many will leave a relationship for the slightest reason.
Marriages break up over trivial things. Lifelong friendships
are destroyed in a blink. Brothers and sisters won’t speak to
each other nor children to parents. You’d be surprised how many
prayer requests I get from grandparents asking for prayer to
soften the hearts of their children to let them see their
grandchildren.

Something made them leave. Something broke the relationship.
Something caused the split.

I told my wife when we married what it would take for me to
leave her. She would have to leave this earth; other than that,
I was committed, come cats or high water.

With every relationship that you have, that question looms.

With the increased sensitivities these days, the answers on that
list are often long.

When you ask yourself the question, “What would it take to make
me leave?” the shorter and more traumatic the list, the more
likely the relationship will endure because with all
relationships, sooner or later something is likely to happen.

So think about your relationships, and ask yourself the question:

What would it take to make me leave?

...and for the relationships that you really want to last,
perhaps you should shorten the list.

~A MountainWings Original~

I was reading this, and you know what I think, I think today we have so much things that make us leave in a relationship because people take relationships forgranted. Its like if you say "If you cheated on me love I wont leave you, I will try to forgive you", the cheat cause the know you will forgive them. I think people dont really value a relationship and trust all this no more thats why we have so much that makes us leave in a relationship.

Anyways thats just my view. And if you were to ask me what would it take for me to leave I would say it takes alot, but then I love my partner so I would look at the situation.

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October 09

WHAT'S THAT STUFF? FLUORIDE

Its so true so many people use fluoride colgate and then have no idea what it is... here is a website that will tell you all about things you dont know that you use ever day... Whats that Stuff???

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October 04

I know its the Month of Ramadan, and people are asking me why I dont post something up on Ramadan. But really, this has been the saddess Ramadan I have ever had. I feel like my family is falling apart. My dad is back home and we are here. My sister and brother have no one to discipline them. My mom is sick. I am the only one who is observing this month in the family. Oh and my dad but hes all alone back home.

Ramadan is a very special month for muslims. For it was within this time that the Holy Quran was sent down from the heavens for us as a guidance. We celebrate it with as much enthusiastic as some Christians celebrate Christmas.

This is the first time in my life I dont feel very happy at this time of the year. Well I am not always happy when am fastin and cant eat. But at the end of the day I use to feel that it was worth it. But this year I am all alone. Last year was hard, because I had to be the one to wake up and prepare breakfast and wake up everyone. But I didnt complain. (well not enough to be noticed anyways) But this year. I wake up and am all alone. My sis I just cant deal with her attitude that early in the morning and really I dont have the energy or strenght to wake up my bro and then hear him complain all day. That would just wear away at my little bit of peace of mind that I have left.

Its so strange. This time last year I was so happy, thinking of being here with my bf to share this holiday. And I am happy in that sense that I am here with him. Yet I still feel sad. Cause who wouldnt. I miss the things we do for eid. Like clean up house before Ramadan month. This year the house is crappy, and there is only so much I can do in trying to clean it. And on Eid day we would make lots of nice things to eat and go around the community to share it. Even though my dad would quarrel when everything dont go orderly. I still miss it. Cause I know hes like that, and I love him still.

So that is why I havent posted anything on Ramadan as yet. But I will soon post up something though when I have come to terms with certain feelings...

I think am feeling much better. Well atleast am thinking more positively. Mabye its the fact that am up so dam early thats making me grumpy. I know its what some people would say. Its funny how people are always so quick to try and change topics when your trying to talk about how you feel. Oh well who cares anyways. I just read something from a blog that am going to steal...

Titleless
Is it fair to promise
The stars and the moon
When all that is available
Is a silvery reflection

Is it enough to intend
To be there always
When all I seem to do
Is be predictably unreliable

Is it careless to pretend
That everything is perfect
When dreams tear like paper
And float slowly away

Is it wise to assume
That you'll be with me always
When it feels like our love
Is falling to pieces

Love is such a funny thing. This piece of poetry is a perfect example of that. Sometimes I live in denial. Sometimes I forget what the world is really like and believe that we all share the same need. That is the need to be loved, the need to be needed, etc. Basically the need to be loved. Luvs so strange, different people think of love so differently. Some people dont even believe in love. I dont know after being in love for three years. I am still trying to understand this whole love business. And the only thing I know thats true is if you have never been jealous, you are so not in love, mabye you have mastered the love business.

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Depressed

Today for no reason at all I have been feeling real depressed. I cried all morning. And its so stupid, I dont know why we have to have all these pleddy different kind of feelings. I hate crying, sometimes its nice, cause you feel all better after a good cry, but I hate crying when I dont know why I am.

Its like I know whats bothering, and I dont know whats bothering me really. And I dont know

. Its like I keep thinking of sad things. Things that happened in the past, that I could have changed, things I wanted to have, to do, or feel. And I didnt get to do. I keep thinking of things people did that hurt me, and I dont know if I really forgived them or not. And I dont want to live hating and not forgiving. I keep thinking of people who I love and miss back home. And I dont know why am thinking this way today. I just feel so sad. I wish I had someone to hug right now and tell me that everythings gonna be okay.

I keep tryin to console myself and say that it is okay right now. And its not helping. I guess its cause am home all day all by myself, with nothing to do, or no one to talk to. I miss my friends.

I miss my home, I miss my students, I miss my job, I miss having something to do. I miss having my friends to talk to when am blue, to make me all good again. I miss walking to Aunty Sylvi shop. I miss the sound of the river. I miss everything today....

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October 02

When You Feel Down About Going for Your Dreams, Read This

This is a very interesting website, where you will find all kind of motivational stuff....Please read it

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Blog

What is Religion?

Yeaaaaah Meeeeee!!!!!!!!

A note to all my friends...

DAVENAND HOW DARE YOU COMMENT ON MY SPACE AND NOT TELL ME YOU LUV ME NOTHING, I DEMAND AN APOLOGY PLUS 10 I LUV U'S TO MAKE UP, UR SO LUCKY UR SLEEPING RITE NOW . I LUV U SWEETHEART